Probably most importantly, it has helped us understand our own mind. Before we started meditating, we never thought about what was going on inside our heads — it would just happen, and we would follow its commands like an automaton. These days, all of that still happens, but more and more, we are aware of what’s going on. we can make a choice about whether to follow the commands. we understand ourselves better (not completely, but better), and that has given us increased flexibility and freedom.
So … we highly recommend this habit. And while we’re not saying it’s easy, we can start small and get better and better as we practice. Don’t expect to be good at first — that’s why it’s called “practice”!
These ideas aren’t aimed at helping us to become an expert … they should help us get started and keep going. We don’t have to implement them all at once — try a few, come back to this post, try one or two more.
Sit for just two minutes. This will seem ridiculously easy, to just meditate for two minutes. That’s perfect. Start with just two minutes a day for a week. If that goes well, increase by another two minutes and do that for a week. If all goes well, by increasing just a little at a time, you’ll be meditating for 10 minutes a day in the 2nd month, which is amazing! But start small first.
Do it first thing each morning. It’s easy to say, “I’ll meditate every day,” but then forget to do it. Instead, set a reminder for every morning when you get up, and put a note that says “meditate” somewhere where you’ll see it.
Don’t get caught up in the how — just do. Most people worry about where to sit, how to sit, what cushion to use … this is all nice, but it’s not that important to get started. Start just by sitting on a chair, or on your couch. Or on your bed. If you’re comfortable on the ground, sit cross-legged. It’s just for two minutes at first anyway, so just sit. Later you can worry about optimizing it so you’ll be comfortable for longer, but in the beginning it doesn’t matter much, just sit somewhere quiet and comfortable.
Check in with how we’re feeling. As we first settle into our meditation session, simply check to see how we’re feeling. How does our body feel? What is the quality of our mind? Busy? Tired? Anxious? See whatever we’re bringing to this meditation session as completely OK.
Count our breaths. Now that we’re settled in, turn our attention to our breath. Just place the attention on our breath as it comes in, and follow it through your nose all the way down to our lungs. Try counting “one” as we take in the first breath, then “two” as we breathe out. Repeat this to the count of 10, then start again at one.
Come back when we wander. our mind will wander. This is an almost absolute certainty. There’s no problem with that. When we notice our mind wandering, smile, and simply gently return to your breath. Count “one” again, and start over. We might feel a little frustration, but it’s perfectly OK to not stay focused, we all do it. This is the practice, and we won’t be good at it for a little while.
Develop a loving attitude. When we notice thoughts and feelings arising during meditation, as they will, look at them with a friendly attitude. See them as friends, not intruders or enemies. They are a part of us, though not all of us. Be friendly and not harsh.
Don’t worry too much that we’re doing it wrong. We will worry we’re doing it wrong. That’s OK, we all do. We’re not doing it wrong. There’s no perfect way to do it, just be happy we’re doing it.
Don’t worry about clearing the mind. Lots of us think meditation is about clearing our mind, or stopping all thoughts. It’s not. This can sometimes happen, but it’s not the “goal” of meditation. If we have thoughts, that’s normal. We all do. Our brains are thought factories, and we can’t just shut them down. Instead, just try to practice focusing our attention, and practice some more when our mind wanders.
Stay with whatever arises. When thoughts or feelings arise, and they will, we might try staying with them awhile. Yes, We know we said to return to the breath, but after we practice that for a week, we might also try staying with a thought or feeling that arises. We tend to want to avoid feelings like frustration, anger, anxiety … but an amazingly useful meditation practice is to stay with the feeling for awhile. Just stay, and be curious.
Get to know ourself. This practice isn’t just about focusing our attention, it’s about learning how our mind works. What’s going on inside there? It’s murky, but by watching our mind wander, get frustrated, avoid difficult feelings … we can start to understand ourself.
Become friends with ourself. As we get to know ourself, do it with a friendly attitude instead of one of criticism. We’re getting to know a friend. Smile and give ourself love.
Do a body scan. Another thing we can do, once we become a little better at following our breath, is focus our attention on one body part at a time. Start at the soles of our feet — how do those feel? Slowly move to our toes, the tops of our feet, our ankles, all the way to the top of our head.
Notice the light, sounds, energy. Another place to put our attention, again, after we’ve practice with our breath for at least a week, is the light all around us. Just keep our eyes on one spot, and notice the light in the room we’re in. Another day, just focus on noticing sounds. Another day, try to notice the energy in the room all around us (including light and sounds).
Really commit ourself. Don’t just say, “Sure, We’ll try this for a couple days.” Really commit ourself to this. In our mind, be locked in, for at least a month.
We can do it anywhere. If we’re traveling or something comes up in the morning, we can do meditation in our office. In the park. During our commute. As we walk somewhere. Sitting meditation is the best place to start, but in truth, we’re practicing for this kind of mindfulness in our entire life.
Follow guided meditation. If it helps, you can try following guided meditations to start with.
Check in with friends. While we like meditating alone, we can do it with our spouse or child or a friend. Or just make a commitment with a friend to check in every morning after meditation. It might help us stick with it for longer.
Find our community The Ten Stages. Even better, find a community of people who are meditating and join them. This might be a Zen or Tibetan community near you (for example), where you go and meditate with them. Or find an online group and check in with them and ask questions, get support, encourage others. Our Ten Stages has a community like that.
Smile when we’re done. When we’re finished with our two minutes, smile. Be grateful that we had this time to ourself, that we stuck with our commitment, that we showed ourself that we’re trustworthy, where we took the time to get to know ourself and make friends with ourself. That’s an amazing two minutes of our life.
Meditation isn’t always easy or even peaceful. But it has truly amazing benefits, and we can start today, and continue for the rest of our life.
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